What If You Said "Yes"?

From my many years of babysitting experience, witnessing my family and myself, we, as humans like to say, “no”. Ask a toddler to share their toy, “no”. Ask a 9 year old to do their homework, “no”. Ask a grown adult to clean the dishes, “no”. It’s pretty comical really! It seems like we’re hardwired to be difficult!

What’s interesting is that we don’t feel happy or fulfilled by the no’s in our lives; it’s the yes’s. Ask an old and wise member of the family and they'll tell you. It was saying yes to a certain career path, yes to married life, yes to a family, yes to God. Those things are important, life-changing. But, how often do we focus all of our attention on the career path, marriage, and family instead of God?

I didn’t know what FOCUS was for a long time. (I mean it was founded in 1998, so it was up and coming right when I was growing up.) For those of you that don’t know what it is either let me give you a brief intro:

FOCUS stands for Fellowship of Catholic University Students. Essentially, they’re just a bunch of young people with a desire to bring others to Jesus. FOCUS’s website describes it this way, “[FOCUS] invites college students into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and His Church, inspiring and equipping them for a lifetime of Christ-centered evangelization, discipleship and friendships in which they lead others to do the same.” “More than 660 missionaries are serving full-time on 137 college campuses, located across 38 U.S. states and at three international locations (two campuses in Austria and one in England).”

Pretty awesome right?? I think so! Or at least, I do now! I went to high school and college with very limited knowledge of the organization. Essentially, I knew that FOCUS existed and that they were awesome, so I just nodded my head and continued on my way. They weren’t at my school and I had never met a FOCUS missionary, so I didn’t have much of an opinion. By senior year of college, I was dating someone who joined FOCUS. (So, dating fast, haha yup!) But it opened my eyes to the organization a bit more.

That year I met more missionaries and students on FOCUS campuses, and I started forming my own opinions. I was beginning to see the ripple effect that those missionaries were making, starting with their decision to follow Christ. I was super inspired by what I learned, but I continued on the path I was trudging on, thinking, “that’s not for me, it’s awesome, but not for me.”

After I graduated college, I chose a path of life very similar to a Rocky Mountain summit trail... on steroids. By that, I mean it was strenuous, uphill, and full of large rocks. If I had allowed Jesus to walk with me, I could have looked like one of those BA trail runners; but I chose to trudge alone. He knocked consistently on the door of my heart, but I continued to tell Him, “no.”

This is what you call a typical "rock bottom" moment. After a while, I came to realize that all the things I thought I wanted were worthless in comparison to what I was missing. I had a God sized hole in my heart and I knew it. So, I decided to open the door to Our Lord and say, "Yes."

What happened next was very slow, glacial even. I began by intentionally going to mass every day. For a while, there wasn’t much that I could say that I did during the day, but Mass was always there. I felt more freedom, love, and peace in that one hour, than I could find in an entire week doing anything else. I can’t tell you really when or how other things changed, but I know that Jesus began to transform my soul through those Masses. I began feeling more alive, more like myself. I started to look interiorly. I began to heal. I began sharing my life with other people. I was exploring new things. I was being filled, but it all started with Jesus. It all started with my first, “yes”. God is slow moving, but He is so intentional. By allowing Him into just one facet of our lives, He can transform us into the saints we are called to be.

I didn’t think FOCUS was for me, but typically when I try to plan out my life, I’m wrong. So, (after needless trudging) I humbled myself, applied for FOCUS, attended an interview weekend, got offered a position: and I said, “YES.” (Technically, I think I said, "HECK YEAH!" But I don't think that's advisable.) Since the process began, I've felt so much peace and healing. I know this is right, and I cannot wait to begin this next journey.

And that's how saying, "yes" changed my life! :) So...

What if you said, “yes”?